If just one of these CEO's went to jail, would this crap keep happening?

Record get-out-of-jail fees: Ruining your life is just a cost of doing business.

$246 billion fine — Tobacco industry combined — 1998: After decades of lying about the connection between cigarettes and lung cancer, the five largest tobacco makers in the country, Philip Morris, R.J. Reynolds, Brown & Williamson, Lorillard and Liggett & Meyers agreed to pay out $246 billion over the course of 25 years ending in 2025. The companies had reached earlier agreements with some states and then reached a wide settlement with the remaining 46.

$25 billion fine — Wells Fargo & Co., J.P. Morgan Chase & Co., Citigroup Inc., Bank of America Corp., Ally Financial Inc. — 2012: These five banks agreed to pay $25 billion in penalties and borrower relief over alleged foreclosure processing abuses.

$13 billion fine – JPMorgan Chase & Co. – October 2013: J.P. Morgan announced a record $13 billion settlement with the Department of Justice and other federal regulators over mortgage-backed securities abuses. The deal reportedly includes homeowner assistance payments and fines, it would be the biggest fine ever levied by the US Department Of Justice.

$9.3 billion fine — Bank of America, Wells Fargo, J.P. Morgan and 10 others — 2013: Thirteen banks reached an agreement with the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency and Federal Reserve to pay $9.3 billion in cash and noncash relief, including loan assistance, to homeowners over alleged foreclosure abuses.

$8.5 billion fine — Bank of America – June 2011: The bank has paid billions in settlements since the financial crisis, most of them tied to bad mortgages churned out by Countrywide before it’s collapse and rescue by Bank of America. The biggest settlement it reached, for $8.5 billion, was not with the government but with a group of mortgage bond holders including BlackRock, Pimco and the New York Federal Reserve. The settlement is still awaiting a judge’s approval.

$4.5 billion fine – JPMorgan Chase & Co. – November 2013: JPMorgan Chase & Co. has reached a $4.5 billion settlement with investors over toxic mortgage-backed securities. The settlement, announced Friday, covers 21 major institutional investors, including competitor Goldman Sachs, BlackRock Financial Management, and Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. The mortgage-backed securities were sold by JPMorgan — the biggest U.S. bank — and Bear Stearns between 2005 and 2008.

$4.5 billion fine – BP – November 2012: BP’s fines for Deepwater Horizon oil spill disaster in the Gulf of Mexico included what was the biggest fine ever levied by the Department of Justice: $4 billion. That came along with $525 million more to the SEC for civil penalties. The DOJ penalty also had an accompanying guilty plea to 11 felony counts of “seaman’s manslaughter” relating to the deaths aboard the drilling rig, admitting that its workers were negligent when they misinterpreted a key well safety test. Meanwhile, the oil giant earlier in 2012 agreed to pay victims an estimated $7.8 billion and have in total booked charges of about $42 billion for cleanup and settlement payments. It is in a court trial over environmental penalties that could total billions more.

$3 billion fine – GlaxoSmithKline – July 2012: In what was billed as the largest healthcare settlement with the DOJ ever, the drugmaker paid $3 billion and pleaded guilty to criminal charges of illegally marketing drugs and withholding safety data from U.S. regulators.

$2.3 billion fine — Pfizer Inc. — 2009: The pharmaceutical giant pleaded guilty to a federal criminal charge of illegally marketing the painkiller Bextra and paid $2.3 billion for illegally promoting the sale of that and other medicines for unapproved uses.

$1.9 billion fine — HSBC Holdings – HSBC agreed to pay $1.9 billion to U.S. authorities over money-laundering abuses. U.S. officials hailed the settlement as the largest penalty ever under the Bank Secrecy Act. The agreement between the U.S. and HSBC also represented the third time since 2003 the bank agreed to U.S. orders to cease lax conduct and correct failed policies.

$1.6 billion fine — Abbott Laboratories — 2012: The drug maker agreed to pay $1.6 billion and pleaded guilty to violating a federal drug law following allegations that the company improperly promoted antiseizure drug Depakote for unauthorized uses.

$1.6 billion fine — Siemens — 2008: Siemens agreed to pay a total of $1.6 billion in fines and penalties to U.S. and German authorities to resolve allegations of a bribery scheme across several countries to win business.

$1.5 billion fine — UBS AG — 2012: UBS agreed to pay $1.5 billion and acknowledged charges that it had manipulated interbank lending rates including the London interbank offered rate, or Libor. It was the biggest fine so far in that scandal.

$1.5 billion fine – Intel – 2009 – The chip maker was walloped with the biggest antitrust fine ever by the European Union. The company, at the time, controlled about 80% of the world’s computer chips. Intel is still appealing the fine and has said the EU is mistaken. The largest U.S. antitrust fine ever has been $500 million, levied twice, including last year in a case against LCD television maker AU Optronics Corporation of Taiwan.

$1.42 billion fine — Eli Lilly & Co. — 2009 : Eli Lilly agreed to pay $1.42 billion to settle a probe into alleged improper marketing of the antipsychotic drug Zyprexa.

$1.4 billion fine — 10 Wall Street firms including Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and J.P. Morgan — 2003: The 10 firms agreed to pay penalties of roughly $1.4 billion to settle charges of conflicts of interest between their research and investment banking sectors.

$950 million fine — Merck & Co. — 2011: Merck agreed to pay $950 million and plead guilty to a criminal misdemeanor charge to resolve government allegations that the company illegally promoted its former painkiller Vioxx and deceived the government about the drug’s safety.

$900 million fine – Exxon – 1991 – The oil company agreed to settle all federal and state civil claims resulting from the Exxon Valdez oil spill of March 24, 1989 with a payment of $900 million and the possibility for $100 million more. Three decades later, the sides continued to argue about the $100 million more.