YOU KNOW YOU ARE TRAILER TRASH WHEN . . .

As submitted to CarTalk.com by Jack Chamberlin:

You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table, in front of her kids.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey guys, watch this."

You're pretty sure Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You believe loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.